And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
