I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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