yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
