I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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