I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
