if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
