Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
