I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
