I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
