Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
