so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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