i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My breasts were aching with rage.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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