According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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