i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
