there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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