It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
