he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
