im about as happy as oj after his trial
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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