the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We are two peas in an std pod
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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