She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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