I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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