she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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