his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
