have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
