I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
