Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Princesses don't give blow jobs
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
