Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This show inspires me to have sex in space
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
