just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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