Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
