somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
