and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
