note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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