I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
