my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
