but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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