I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
