About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
