Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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