just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
