i just wanna soil my oats bro
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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