seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
