Dual....:-)
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
