He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
