if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
