He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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