That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
