jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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