Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
