Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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