Sry I called you an 8
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
