I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
