Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
