Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
