The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
